Sunlight of the Spirit

I'm living life one day at time, traveling along in the sunlight of the Spirit. And I don't let anyone get between me and my light...I belong to the most amazing circle of women friends. I know that with them, nothing is impossible.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Back to the Real World

Back to work tomorrow. I'm dreading it and looking forward to it at the same time. I'm going to be soooo far behind on everything and it's going to take a while to catch up. And I'm not going to be back up to full speed again right away, either. I guess all I can do is all I can do. So today, partly because I have a serious case of anticipatory anxiety, and partly because there's a lot of other stuff going on, I had a little minor meltdown. Started doing way too much thinking, which led to a whole lotta stressing, and I wound up in near panic. It's the usual stuff...finances, the divorce, my youngest sons' troubles, blah blah blah. Whew. Wore myself completely out with all that. So I called Lex and Jeanna. Worked on my perspective a little bit. I'm better but not great. I'm sure I'll feel better after I go back to work and dive in. Can't do much about the rest of it, which I guess is part of the problem. Still worrying about things and people I have no control over. Damn, I hate that. Anyway, I decided it was a good evening to chill out, read a little, and just be still. So that's what I'm doing. A short walk with the pug dog, a nice hot bath, and we're curling up with a good book (me and the dog).

Today I'm grateful for:

Not being drunk. Couldn't have been there for my son if I were. I got to witness a whole crew of women high as kites (they were all related) while we were in court this morning, and I know without a doubt, there but for the grace of God go I.

A great job to go back to.

Air conditioning. I don't tolerate heat well ;-)

My doctor. She's taken really good care of me and I already feel better than I have in a long time.

Jeanna and Lex.

My relationship with God.


  • At 7:41 PM, Blogger NMAMFQLMSH said…

    Good luck going back to work tomorrow. Just remember to take it easy.
    Sometimes I wonder if I'll every stop worrying.
    Hang in there my friend.
    I see you,

  • At 8:13 PM, Blogger Scott W said…

    I do not tolerate the heat very well myself. It never gets easier, year after year. At least I don't sweat after I shower. I used to do that even in the winter.

    About those related women in court that were high...isn't that just sad?

  • At 8:46 AM, Blogger Tab said…

    Ha..isn't that funny!Mirror posts ~
    Well, big hearted people think alike I say Tracie.
    But I am with you...
    Too much thinking can make things worse and we know deep down it won't make a difference anywhere at anytime, just makes us lose sleep and perspectives! We are learning.
    Take it easy in that heat and back at work..remembering to catch your breath when you can so you don't end up on over load like ..some..people ..know..
    Take extra good care today!
    Thanks for sharing :)

  • At 8:04 PM, Blogger Tab said…

    Hope your first day back at work went okay.Take Care.

  • At 8:29 AM, Blogger Lex-Sunshine said…

    God just trusts you enought to dump TONS of stuff on you all at once!!! : ) Doesn't that feel wonderful? (ok, maybe not) but you're doing great. and in the words of Jack "keep on keepin' on"


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