Some days you trudge...
I had some pretty major surgery last week, which went very well. But the recovery period is kind of lengthy, and I’ll be at home for a while. Six weeks. That sounds like forever right now. I tire easily and can’t get out much right now so I’m going a little stir crazy. Okay, maybe a lot stir crazy. I can’t drive yet so I’m pretty much house bound for the next week or so. That sounds so whiny. I am very grateful that the surgery went well and I’ll be fine in a few weeks. I stayed at the home of a very good friend who let me camp out and treated my like absolute royalty until I was ready to go home to my own place. She has an absolutely beautiful home with two gorgeous little girls. I got to wake up to the sound of their giggles in the morning and that’s a remarkably glorious sound. But it was time to let her enjoy her family and not be waiting on me. She’s an absolute gem and a wonderful friend. I’ll never be able to repay them.
I’m feeling a little low this evening though. Mostly because I made the mistake of talking to my ex and allowing him to suck me into the same old trap. Got baited into arguing and since my guard’s a little down right now, was actually stupid enough to try to reason and argue with him. I know how futile that is and thought I’d put that far behind me, but I guess not. He spent a little time with our son today, and apparently did a little whining to him about how the property settlement is going. Or not going is probably a little more apt. And so our son called me and wanted to talk to me about it. I have worked hard not to drag him into any of this stuff. I reminded him several times that it was between his dad and I and not his concern but that just pissed him off. He was pretty upset with me when he hung up the phone. I’m usually used to him being upset with me – it’s how we’ve stayed for the last couple of years. I know it’s because he didn’t get his way and that he really loves me and all that stuff. But, I guess because I’m not feeling real well and because I’m a little down it hurt a little worse than usual. For the first time in a long time it left me in tears. And I hate that. I think a meeting would help, quite honestly. I’ve been out of commission for a week and haven’t been to a meeting in a week and a half. That’s pretty unusual for me. But Jeanna and Alexis are bringing a meeting to me this weekend and I’m really looking forward to it. And seeing everybody. That’s the worst part about being at home convalescing. Not seeing all my friends. They really are wonderful and I miss them. But I’ll be up and about soon and able to see everybody.
Today I am grateful for:
Wonderful friends who don’t mind all the silly phone calls while I’m at home right now.