Sunlight of the Spirit

I'm living life one day at time, traveling along in the sunlight of the Spirit. And I don't let anyone get between me and my light...I belong to the most amazing circle of women friends. I know that with them, nothing is impossible.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Some days you trudge...

It’s been a while since I’ve had a chance to blog. Lots and lots going on lately. My youngest son is in some pretty serious trouble, but he’s trying his best to deal with it. He’s asked for some help and that was a big step for him. He seems to be doing better and it looks like he’s begun to accept responsibility for the bad decisions he’s made in his life and that those decisions are what got him where he is. He’s done pretty well with only a couple of minor setbacks and trips back to the old pity party place he used to stay in all the time. He’s begun to realize that his Dad is a very sick man and that he’s very toxic for him to be around for extended periods.

I had some pretty major surgery last week, which went very well. But the recovery period is kind of lengthy, and I’ll be at home for a while. Six weeks. That sounds like forever right now. I tire easily and can’t get out much right now so I’m going a little stir crazy. Okay, maybe a lot stir crazy. I can’t drive yet so I’m pretty much house bound for the next week or so. That sounds so whiny. I am very grateful that the surgery went well and I’ll be fine in a few weeks. I stayed at the home of a very good friend who let me camp out and treated my like absolute royalty until I was ready to go home to my own place. She has an absolutely beautiful home with two gorgeous little girls. I got to wake up to the sound of their giggles in the morning and that’s a remarkably glorious sound. But it was time to let her enjoy her family and not be waiting on me. She’s an absolute gem and a wonderful friend. I’ll never be able to repay them.

I’m feeling a little low this evening though. Mostly because I made the mistake of talking to my ex and allowing him to suck me into the same old trap. Got baited into arguing and since my guard’s a little down right now, was actually stupid enough to try to reason and argue with him. I know how futile that is and thought I’d put that far behind me, but I guess not. He spent a little time with our son today, and apparently did a little whining to him about how the property settlement is going. Or not going is probably a little more apt. And so our son called me and wanted to talk to me about it. I have worked hard not to drag him into any of this stuff. I reminded him several times that it was between his dad and I and not his concern but that just pissed him off. He was pretty upset with me when he hung up the phone. I’m usually used to him being upset with me – it’s how we’ve stayed for the last couple of years. I know it’s because he didn’t get his way and that he really loves me and all that stuff. But, I guess because I’m not feeling real well and because I’m a little down it hurt a little worse than usual. For the first time in a long time it left me in tears. And I hate that. I think a meeting would help, quite honestly. I’ve been out of commission for a week and haven’t been to a meeting in a week and a half. That’s pretty unusual for me. But Jeanna and Alexis are bringing a meeting to me this weekend and I’m really looking forward to it. And seeing everybody. That’s the worst part about being at home convalescing. Not seeing all my friends. They really are wonderful and I miss them. But I’ll be up and about soon and able to see everybody.

Today I am grateful for:


Wonderful friends who don’t mind all the silly phone calls while I’m at home right now.

My sisters.

My kids.

My health.


  • At 10:05 AM, Blogger Tab said…

    ((Tracie))Welcome back :)

    Your first paragraph,I can relate too...every word.Remember I had the "issues" with my son awhile back? he too is trying to face up to what is he needs to be accountable for.I am staying cautiously optomistic,I know how easy it can be for him to slip back into "hiding"from his issues but for today,he seems to be following through on his words.He is out on his own now so he has no where to run and hide like he used to when he was living here.I will always believe he is capable to taking better care of himself.Maybe now that he is out there on his own , he too will see and believe he can too..ugh..tough on my heart but I
    am learning to let go...
    One day at a time right?

    I apprecaite you sharing here and offering your support at my blog.

    I hear your cabin fever while recouping..any video games in the house your staying at?They are great at keeping you preoccupied when you need to lay low.
    Hope you find something too soothe the boredom!Get well soon.

    I am soooo glad you are back to blogging..missed ya.

    Take extra good care right now..
    you sound like you have great friends around you too..awesome.

    Thanks for sharing ~

  • At 1:53 PM, Blogger NMAMFQLMSH said…

    Get well soon. Do what the doctor says and have a bitch'n weekend nevertheless.
    I see you,

  • At 7:07 PM, Blogger Mary Christine said…

    It is so good to see a new post on your blog. Just take care of yourself. You are not going to be 100% for a while, and that is the way it is supposed to be.

  • At 6:43 AM, Blogger Matt said…

    Hi Tracie! Thanks for the nice note you left for me. :)

    Too much time at home gives me cabin fever too. You should learn how to knit too! I giggle with glee at the thought of all the ugly Christmas and birthday presents people will be getting. Dog sweaters? Adult sized booties? I know....remote control cozies!

    Can I add a link to you on my blog? I want to keep up with you, as well as remember how to get back here!

    Hang in there. I know it sounds weird, but think of this time at home as a gift from your HP. Your sponsor is going to be so proud of all the step work you can get done! :)

    - Matt


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