Sunlight of the Spirit

I'm living life one day at time, traveling along in the sunlight of the Spirit. And I don't let anyone get between me and my light...I belong to the most amazing circle of women friends. I know that with them, nothing is impossible.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Powerful Words

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Those are powerful words. I've been repeating them a LOT lately, out of necessity. I'm learning all over again that the only person whose behavior I have any control over is my own. What's amazing is the level of serenity it brings when I really pay attention. I know that everything happens for a reason, and that it's not necessary that I know what the reason is. I'm relying heavily on faith right now, and that's something I'm not terribly good at. I like to pretend I am, but if I were consistent about that faith thing, I wouldn't get into so much fear. And boy have I been living in fear. And of course, it's all about control. I can't control my son's behavior or my ex's behavior or my sister's behavior. They're all going to do what they're going to do. My sister had her baby, and in a normal family that would be a thing to rejoice about. Not so here. We're all concerned about whether the baby is okay, whether she and her boyfriend will take care of him, if she'll start using again. So I've been praying for her and for the baby. Praying for her miracle and for his. And praying for my friend, who has terminal cancer and seems to be slipping away a little bit every day. What's amazing is how strong his faith is. He's an amazing person, and so is his wife. So I'm trying to have faith that it's all going to turn out like it's supposed to. And again, I don't get to know what that will be.

I've been really enjoying my morning conversations with God lately. It's kind of funny, since there seems to be so much going on right now. But because of that, I've really been focusing a lot on prayer and meditation. It's the only thing that brings me much peace right now. I do get that it's the whole working on that connection with God thing in the 11th step that's helping me attain some measure of serenity in the midst of the chaos. And I'm very grateful for that.

Today I'm grateful for:

The incredible people I've met in AA. I'm just in awe of the spirituality I witness on a daily basis.

The ability to open my heart and allow others in even though sometimes it brings pain.

The realization that it's not all my chaos and I can match calamity with serenity, if I choose to do the right thing.

5 Comments:

  • At 7:04 AM, Blogger Christine said…

    I just read something that suggested that doubt rather than faith makes for a conversation and better connection with God. It was an interesting slant on the faith issue for me. My sponsor often calls me doubting thomas.
    Thanks for being here Tracie
    Christine

     
  • At 1:55 PM, Blogger Tab said…

    Its tough seeing all these things around you and no you cannot control it but maybe detach a little.We can so easy suck up others negativity if we let ourselves.Remembering the those powerful words are something I too take great support from !
    Hang in there and maybe do something special for yourself today :)

     
  • At 4:30 PM, Blogger Mary Christine said…

    Thanks for the nice post. We sober people are pretty incredible people getting through some tough situations with grace. Thanks for sharing yours :)

     
  • At 8:17 AM, Blogger Alexis said…

    you're walking through all this with incredible grace and dignity, just like Corrie said Monday..... you rock!

     
  • At 11:21 AM, Blogger Tab said…

    Hey Tracie,
    Just stopped by to wish you a
    great weekend.

     

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